Lost Faith

Instincts echoed in void!

Letting walk in shadows for miles with path unclear.

Relentless thoughts of a shaky head;

Kept the destiny unknown!


Faith & Trust stood on north pole.

Burying honesty, promise and love beneath them.

A ray of hope tried to let faith live loose;

But, actions driven trust denied to defuse!

Allowing to submerge itself consciously subconscious.


Lost in unknown left life;

While echos kept echoing unfiltered!

Thoughts kept smiling wickedly;

Asking to blind foldedly select a path;

In the midst of no man's land.




We Don't Know Everything

Past;

Anxiety;

Fear;

Illusion.


A book that we read is written in PAST;

STOP living in it.

A character that ends in the book;

Served the purpose. The story should move on!


No story is hardbound scripted (on rock).

Imagination of tomorrow brings no peace; brings ANXIETY.

Congratulations on watering the dead thought.


What matters most brings FEAR.

The ABSENCE OF YOU eliminates attention;

Stops feeding the fear and let it starve.

Not all are meant to travel till the destination.


STOP nurturing ILLUSIONS;

The moment lost now; is lost forever.

Let the thought tingle with PRESENT.

Remember, no saint sleeps peacefully with patterns of illusions.


Lastly..

Never let your thoughts slip in deep sea;

Remember:

The moment you dig deeper;

You'll be surrounded with utter darkness.


We Don't Know until we experience!

Understanding Life - Part 1

LIFE IS UNCERTAIN.

Karma - Kharma - Kilbisa

Cause (act) - Effect - Guilt

If I tell you that you will die in your sleep, will you dare to sleep? The world which is highly technologically driven today, can it stop; when nature turns on its Ugra Roopam (extreme anger form)? Let's not go to extremes in the very beginning. Let's start small. So, can we even control ourselves by not committing a mistake (willingly or unwillingly)? And, who measures the effectiveness of the Karma (act)? I'm not Devatha (God) to decide the fate; but the fear of mrtyu (death) is as such.

People you meet; The time you meet; The perception you form; The path you choose; The journey you travel; The situations that you would be put into; The experience you take out of it; The happiness / guilt you carry there after; Can you be certain of at least one of this to be known to you beforehand? NO isn't it? That's why.. It's UNCERTAIN.

Let's go a step behind. Do we even know that we were destined to be reborn again? How can we be so sure that this is our rebirth? How can we possibly say that we are not accidental? Are we really destined to take birth; leaving behind other million competitors? Are we truly that fortunate? And if yes, is it just because, Devatha wants to punish us for what we have done in our previous birth? If moksha is just about acceptance and bearing the pain, why is hell built for? Does that mean, rebirth is more painful than hell? Only the dead soul attains moksha.

We all go through different phases in life. And we all have past. Do we even know what triggers us in the next minute and what if, that would be life changing moment of our life? The one's who says that there's only logic in this cosmos, they all have already fallen for the magic! And those who believes in logic, but not rebirth, the question to them would be, "What are they living for?" - Themselves? - What for? Whom for? Only the dead doesn't speak about past.

Everyone of us have plans. And if the soul of every plan is to attain the happiness, why aren't we actually happy with the result of the plan that we made? What stopped the plan? Who and why did they stop the plan? If it involves other entity, why did we even allow other entity to alter the plan? Why at all invite other entity? Is it planned? No? Then who made it happen? Does that mean, the plan is already known to someone? Only the dead doesn't create a plan.

Time. When we say time's up - do we even think about our time getting closer? Whose time are we really deciding? Actually, is it us who is deciding time? What's our time by the way? What reference are we really attaching for every second passed? Do you think, time will remember what we have done or care in those moments? Why is that we try to get hold of time? Or, can we really get hold of time? If YES, why do we die? Why can't we be immortal? Only the dead doesn't speak about time.

Emotions. Crazy and beauty this is. It makes us like what we don't like; It makes us break what we don't like or the other don't like (no questions asked). Actually, do we even ask that something that we are breaking is willing to be broken? Doesn't that have an emotion? Why is that, it has to become destroyable object because of our emotion? Are we, the deciders of their life span? If so, don't you think, there'll be someone who can decide our life span?

Conclusion? There's no conclusion. When life itself is uncertain, what conclusion are we really looking for?




Tale of Wavy Life

 If it is not a clear YES, it is a clear NO.

********************************

The choices driven by past;

The opinions formed by situations;

Drive thyself with constant change of thoughts and words;

Which rearranges and reshuffles without a safe house built within;

Being unapologetic and unchanged in an unprocessed universe;

Resulting in unrealistic and unimaginable path that never taken.


***


The illusion of life is so intriguing!

The weigh of happiness and tears today;

Might not weigh the same tomorrow.

It is not about who caused what;

It is about the universe that never tells you a NO;

On and for whatever you believe, decide and judge.


***


The moment one realizes that they aren't sad anymore;

It's the death - death of one or none!

Making easy to bid goodbye;

Not because the moment passed; but accepted.

And, building a safe house that could withstand the burned;

But, thou should stop fighting and blaming time and timing.

------- Because -------

If it was not a clear GOODBYE, it is a clear GOODBYE.



Tick-Tock

 Tick.. Tock.. Tick.. Tock

Every tick is a rebirth to me;
I don't hustle.
I can't rewind or forward;
As it's not me in past and future.

Don't attribute your success or failure with me.
I don't have any role in it.
Neither I stopped or applauded your success;
Nor pitied your failure.
STOP! Who are you by the way?
This is my rebirth!

My birth and death span is hundredths of a second!
I don't know what KARMA is.
I don't judge your life.
I don't decide your life.
I mind my own business!

It's just that;
If you can't hear me tick and see, move;
IT'S NOT ME WHO STOPPED.
-----------------------------------------
You decide what you need to do.



Past - A Choice

Distorted present she lives in.

Sorted past she believes she’s with.


Belief she had on one.

Feeling turned togetherness.

Societal opinions didn’t flatter her until;

The opinions of “that one” started pouring in without;

Emotions of Her and Perspective of Her.


Opinions she formed because of one.

Clearer it became with the run.

Sorted it seemed with none;

With the hope thrown in bin and;

Optimism flushed in sink.


The list she scrolls to get along with one now,

May reach the end to get along with none.

And, no wonder if;

She stood there in the past being in present.


Want to blame PAST?

If choices made can ruin the past;

Can’t the same choice make better present and future?

And, what if the choice made by YOU to YOURSELF;

Is another "the one" who ruined the past?




Get out there and live a little

 "Get out there and live a little" she wrote.

A little of happiness, is what she shed with her presence.

A little of life is what she let gave from her time.


A bird she is.

Loved her cage with a belief that the cage itself is the world.


"Freedom of choice" never crossed her little road.

"A wish to feel alive" was never in her wish list.

"Gush of love" never ran in her spine until;

She once just started to "Get out there (from cage)" and started to "live a little".


Beautiful cage she lived in. But;

Beautiful she felt outside of it.

There's nothing more ecstatic than the beautiful moments she spent that;

No future would dare to erase.

That beautiful she is and;

That beautiful she'll remain.


In the chaotic world that she resides;

The little road she chose to walk out of her cage;

Will question her identity, individuality and character.

But, in this little time of hers, why not;

 "Get out there and live a little"?






Loophole


(.... Let the music roll! ....)


Dreamers we are;
Dreamers we be!!

Friends we are;
Strangers we be!!

Matured we are;
Stubborn we be!!

Thinkers we are;
Fools we be!!

Near we are;
Distance we be!!

Inclusion we are;
Exclusion we be!!

Destined we are;
Parallel we be!!

Free we are;
Caged we be!!

Creators we are;
Exploiters we be!!

And..
Dreamers we are;
Dreamers we be!!




You know, everyone starts to live their dream; And in the process of living the dream, life itself becomes a dream to live. Friends, maturity, freedom, destiny.. we can go on counting; but are we living? Honestly, I never found someone who answered me this. Neither I could answer myself because I myself have been in the second line from above. The day we come out of the loop, maybe we can start living.

Tangled Love

 Oh.. hey, you got to stop that!
Being scared of everything that could happen.
Being scared of nothing could happen.

Oh.. yeah, the life around is fuzzy buzz.
Everything seems natural, organised and heaven to live.
And.. hey, you got to stop that.
Stop thinking that life is lively and made of heaven and hell.

Yeah, everyone got a story to tell;
Which is unnaturally natural in its way.
Some fishes are hard to kill;
So hey, you got to stop that.
Stop trying to kill that doesn’t die.

Everything’s blurry at the moment.
Nah.. overdose doesn’t clear the cloudy sky.
Neither the touch let’s you forget the feeling.
Inevitable the bonds are and become.
So hey, you got to stop that.
Stop if it’s evitable and shaky.

Funny.. that life always finds a way; 
And.. no cold can freeze the beat of heart.
Letting nothing pass in between the tangled bodies;
What shall one know?
So hey, you got to stop that.
Stop being a goddess and cold.

Isn’t.. the soul(s) unsettled?
And yeah.. we’ve got and get the scars.
And.. no dark sky guarantees the moonlight.
But hey, isn’t it enough to hear,
“I’ve got your back; And wink with a smile?”
Fuck moonlight, when the hugs are enough to let fall asleep.
And gently, kiss the scar.






Exhausted Lungs

WILDFIRE.!!

World is on fire;

Trees are getting cut;

Lungs are getting exhausted;

Anyone asking what caste you belong?

Confusing who’s feeling hard to breathe!

Earth itself or Virus.

Never dreamt that;

A motionless body has to lie down hours;

To get its turn to burn;

And become a memory of ashes.

Anyone talking Kabristans or Shamshan now?

Who’s to blame?

Politicians? Public (Me & You)? God?

Or, is it a “System failure”?


It’s proven that;

“System committed a crime against HUMANITY”.

If you and me don’t stop where we are now;

There won’t be you and me to speak.







Page Turn Over

Turning the page doesn’t hurt;
But,
The frozen moment of the page.. in memory does..!!
The characters of the page does..!!
A mind wrapped around the character does..!!
The span of life the page has taken away does..!!
Being on the same page does..!!


Turning the page doesn’t hurt;
If you cherish the frozen moments of the page..!!
If you let the character roll..!!
If you let go thoughts from mind..!!
If you can understand the importance of time..!!
And,
Above all,
Letting yourself to turn the page and meet new character;
Who can freeze a moment of yours, creating memories..!!




Are you a true introvert?

"With introvert nature of ourselves, we might think that oneself is more than sufficient to sustain this whole life."

I might be wrong in most of the cases that I'm about to write or I might be true in some cases. But, this is my personal experience from where I realized that, "I'm not introvert".

Like every individual thinks or believes that they are introverts with the kind of life they deal or live with, it's most often been misunderstood about oneself; but believed what's written or said about introvert nature. Yes, we do love solidarity with thyself, live, think and act accordingly. But in all this, what we fail to understand is, "We build strong emotions unknowingly."

I want to emphasize more on emotion and feelings part. And how they can turn everything in such a way that everything seems "needy and greedy to the moment". Once it breaks the pure nature of any emotion or feeling, it gets dissolved just like salt in water. And it takes enough time to rebuild that trust or might not rebuild the trust at all.

I feel that, "No one can live with oneself all their life". We need love, we need physical touch and above all, we need someone out there to keep an eye on us. Yes, we do think or realize sometimes that we should be left alone. Also, we do need support to speak out and express what we are going through in our lives sometimes; and being introvert, we hesitate to speak out because we think that one cannot understand what our exact emotions are. But going through these emotions individually makes you realize that everyone needs a support in every individual's life. And the moment I realized this, I told myself that I'm not an introvert anymore.

Now ask yourself, "Why do we think one cannot understand introvert?". Might be because we lost the trust or one doesn't have that "someone" to whom they can share their emotions without being judgmental. Lost trust might have deeper roots which I consider and that might impact at greater level. Totally agree. But again, this body of ours needs human touch and human emotions, a true hope and faith with the future. Without these, we might become a man made machine with a life that can be torn into bits and pieces if unnecessary.

What makes me feel sad is that, when introverts (who think they are) or anyone lose true hope with bad relationship, they start to build a reflecting character on what they trusted before. Love, it's pure in its nature. It's not love that's impure. It's the mindset of people which is impure. How is it even a fair point to evaluate everyone and be judgmental with one or two mindsets? If that's what we believe in, with every moment of life, we start making decisions that takes us to a desert or void where either you can see all sand or nothing at all. And in either cases, we will be left alone. But that's not what we are. That's not the nature we are built with. Remember that we do feel pain and happiness and if we can stand on ourselves without any emotion, why at all care about pain and happiness? They should be thrown out too because these come with either people or things. And if it's dependent, remember that you're not a true introvert. Because you still depend.

Yes, it's a personal choice to live one's life the way they want. But we need to understand that some should be left as constants; which are true and pure with nature and some as variables; which can be evaluated or changed with experience. Mismatching with what is what can create enough mind puzzles and riddles where the path to gate goes missing. Eventually, we need to eat what we sow.

Just for once, ask yourself, "Are you a true introvert?"

Introvert Nature



Maya

I wonder how a woman feels;
When she lets someone touch her bare body!
The fault in the stars doesn’t matter before her trust I guess.
The faith she puts in that touch;
Oh God. Only “She” would know and feel it.

I wonder how a woman with a character feel;
When the fault in the stars appear.
And, the faith becomes a comet!
In a society,
Where screaming is not allowed;
And, the game of judgement always on cards;
I wouldn’t even dare to imagine how;
She lets herself take it all and move forward.

On whom would she scream when;
The hands she held weren’t there to wipe her tears?
What would she cover herself with;
When there isn’t a feeling to feel?
Whom would she complain about;
This unfairness of life?
Belief system would disappear and no wonder why;
She never lets her emotions erupt thereafter.

Independent she might;
But beneath, it’s not her body to be touched (again);
It should be a character that respects;
And kisses her whispering, “You’re beautiful”.



Right Question

It would be a lie if someone believes or said that the past can be forgotten. It'll never be is what everyone knows. But people tend to make peace by not asking the questions. And I believe they do so because the answers to the questions wouldn't exist or it would make them feel unimaginable to themselves.

But, when one day people tend to ask right questions to themselves (importantly) or others, we barely hear "NICE" in return. It would make feel better for that instance but again, it'll be the same as the questions which aren't answered but made peace. Because a decision made for something will always be against something else - no matter how hard one tries to settle it.

"If not now, when?" - Generation started to believe this. People who would like to experience (which is not wrong), always forgets the last word in the sentence - "When?". The time they tend to realize and see the consequences, first we hear "How?" and then "When?". In the process of living in present, we unknowingly build a future where we fear to question the right questions.

Some think that they have been chosen in what they've been (are) doing. And some other thinks that they've been cursed to be doing the doings. More or less, what matters in the end is, "We chose to do it." Aren't we? It "might" have been different, if one asked right questions. But, how many would go after questions after all.

When we fail to answer right questions, I think, we should believe that it's not we to decide (not judge) what should be happening. And it definitely says that we aren't the attorney. If you have come this long, you would have read the above paragraph or remember me saying that, "It would have been different if asked right questions." Now you see, I also said that, a decision made for something will always be against something else. And what I meant is, "We have to live with it."

I do sometimes believe that someone is always in charge of what we're doing. Everything seems to be working as it was already planned. The moment we move out of it, we believe that we made a move. But, did we or can we is what I ask myself. Truly, I don't have the gut to answer it. And sometimes I believe that "Karma" is something which is taking care of everything.

One day, there might be someone who comes to question the way I'm questioning. And sometimes, a question to a question will be the answer I guess. Thinking all this, I know that one day I'll read this blog again. Then, sit alone, wait for someone to start asking the questions to the questions from the day this has been written.





Shell Of Love

I worshiped my love towards you;
As I worshiped for this life to the almighty..!!

My thoughts towards you were;
Far from the judgement to pure and impure.
"DREAM YOU ARE"
Hard to remember beginning or ending.

Frozen and lost I be in your thoughts..!!
While, before and after continue to fight for order and priority.

I deny with “Forever”..!!
But seasons you have become.
(Florence with different fragrance)

All I feel, think and love maybe lies under the sky;
And I wonder, “Is sky for real?”
If yes, so does my love for you.



Unsettled Soul

She always hid behind those dreamy clouds unsettled!
Neither to shower nor to shine.

Confusion always crawled beneath her skin;
“Matter of fact” was always galaxy away of her reach.

Consciously subconscious she became!
The difference always attracted her than repelling.

The beat she loved couldn’t reach her!
It is the dark sky and trembling silence she could see and hear.

Clouds always been her “Augmented reality”!
And she chose to hide behind those dreamy clouds “Unsettled”!

And;
Why write about her?
Cause, I felt she is one among best antiquities of nature.


Her

She has those eyes which never settles me down.

She has the vibe to create happiness with the touch of her own.

She has the music that can make me flow and follow her footsteps.

She is a influential character which sanitized my character.

She accepts to forfeit but never to strangle.

She lives on her terms and never on one's terms.

Meeting and knowing her has been the best so far.

Loving her has been the best moments so far.



Story of a Talon

I once had talons;
To grab the prey called hope and wish.

Heavy wings of hope and wish is only what I had.
But they had the fear that;
They may become the prey for eagle of Karma.!!

Blunt beak of hope and wish aren't enough to tear the prey
Demanding to beat the beak against the rock and lose.

Beating the beak against the rock invites pain
Leaving the beak blunted and die of hunger.
And
Calling hope and wish is what I did for the sharp beak and flexible talons.

But
Hope and wish without suffer and pain kills me but will had a choice.

Inviting the pain is the choice I ended with.
I chose to hit the beak hard to the rock,
Pluck the talons and feathers with the grown beak,
Bearing the pain, suffer and hunger.
And
A chance to hit the rock bottom of the surface.

And
Remember, remember..
"A choice never includes start-end."
And
"A choice never gives rebirth to fearing end."


Life of transparency

Not everything you see;
Is as plain as it is..!!

There lives a moment you lived;
With everything in hand
And nothing in hand.
There lives a moment you lived;
With everyone around
And no one around.
There lives a moment you lived;
When everything mattered
And nothing mattered.

Not everything you see;
Is as plain as it is..!!

There lives a moment you lived;
With fear of everything
And fear of nothing.
There lives a moment you lived;
With choices all around
And nothing around.
There lives a moment you lived;
With actions that blossomed your fate
And actions that decided your fate.

Not everything you see;
Is as plain as it is..!!
And
Not everything you believe;
Is as true as it is..!!


Undefined Value

And they said they'll be together;
Against the odds
As the river has its bends and ends.

And they believed in night sky to day dream;
Against the light to fulfill their dream,
Allowing the leaves to depend on moonlight.

And they said they'll take a path
Of orchard filled with flowers of colors that never exist;
Against the path of pain that exist.

And they believed they can build the nest
With the love they weigh
Against their lives of love that weigh.

And they said love is beautiful;
Until the love they loved took;
Path of the river against the orchard,
Letting the flowers burn
And make their color alike.

I believe love is Undefined.
Because defined has a Value.